Yep. Just like everyone else, my husband and I got suckered into getting a puppy during the COVID-19 pandemic. And I’m sure just like everybody else, we thought it would be a good time. We just bought a house with a backyard and we’d now have all this time working from home.
At the end of March, I BEGGED my husband for a solid two days to let us foster a pup, but he just wouldn’t budge- he felt he’d get too attached to the dog and when we would have to give them up, it’d be too hard. Understandable… I guess. But at the time I was so bummed.
However, a few days after I dropped the conversation, he showed me a picture of a little female border collie mix puppy who needed to be adopted from Petfinder.com. I immediately teared up and said “that’s her”. I then somehow convinced him to apply for adoption and then suddenly the next day we were at PetSmart buying all the essential items for new puppy parents on the way to pick up her up from the foster parents.
As you can see, it all happened so fast. Suddenly, we had a dog and… I felt ill prepared. I had dogs growing up of course, but they were older. Our new pup, was just a wittle 3-months-old.
We brought her home – there was a small stretch of time where we called her Riley but after witnessing her stubborn, rambunctious personality we realized it didn’t fit and settled on a more well-suited name, Remi. Her tail wagging a mile a minute, she hoped from room to room to explore her new home (I mean just look how cute she was!!!)
We were so excited, she was so cute and then… she pooped in the dining room.
I suddenly realized, I didn’t know what I was doing. Being the control freak I am, I immediately felt overwhelmed and stressed. I needed to feel in control of training, but not being in any position to hire a trainer- one because they can be ridiculously expensive and two because, well, COVID-- my only then resource would have to be the internet.
I scoured online hoping I would find all the answers. My common Google searches included…
“How much do I feed my puppy?”
“How to crate train?”
“Is it normal for my puppy to not sleep through the night?”
“How do you get your puppy to stop peeing on the carpet?”
“How to teach my puppy to stop biting me”
“How to teach my puppy to stop biting the leash”
“How to teach puppy to stop biting furniture”
“How to figure out if your dog hates you”
“Why won’t my puppy listen to me???!”
We were exhausted. Remi seemed to be ruling our life. She would pee inside the house constantly, bite us, bark at us, and my least favorite- she would wake up at 5am and not go back to sleep. I desperately asked all my friends who had dogs if this was all normal, if it was a phase that she’d grow out of, and more importantly, if it ever gets easier. I was starting to wonder if we just got a bad dog and that we’d have to live with that fact.
Not completely resigned to that thought, I continued to look online and came upon two online trainers with free resources. Below I detail some quick notes, what I learned and was able to successfully teach Remi, along with the pros and cons of each program. But I didn’t learn everything online, I also did some training on my own and I’ll share what worked.
FREE ONLINE PROGRAMS
This program is a free 30-day training “class”. When you subscribe, you will receive one video tutorial a day for 30 days with an easy step by step process on how to teach your dog a specific trick or command. They cover how to teach your dog to Leave it, look at me, sit, down, up, potty training, biting and chewing, crate training, walking on a leash, etc. You can always skip to a certain video if you need help in a particular aspect.
I really found the crate training videos helpful and successfully taught Remi to like her crate. I also was able to teach her how to “leave it”. With this command I’m able to get her to stop eating something she’s not supposed to or to drop a toy, it’s actually my most used command with her.
Pros
· Free
· Easy to understand, videos are broken down so they are easy to follow
· All about treating your dog with love and respect
· Organized
Cons
· Will try to sell you on certain products and program membership
What I learned
· Be patient
· Be consistent
· How to condition Remi with certain commands/stimulus
What Remi learned
· Crate training
· How to leave it
· How to play fetch
· How to stay
30 Day Perfect Pup is a great tool for quick training for tricks and commands. I was able to get Remi to do something but it always required a reward with a treat or a toy. I was looking for something to supplement that learning and that’s how I came upon Doggy Dan.
Doggy Dan is a professional dog trainer from New Zealand and has a program where he goes through the 5 Golden Rules of how to get your dog to obey you. He’s all about getting your dog to CHOOSE to listen to you, mainly showing them that you are the alpha, not them. There are lot of free resources on his website- videos, podcasts, blogs- but there’s also a lot that are not.
One of the things we learned was the power of using time outs. My husband and I agreed we would never use a shock collar or other forms of fear to get our dog to listen to us. So, to teach Remi not to do something, we put her in time out. Whenever she did something she wasn’t supposed to, we calmly picked her up or walked her over to our laundry room (a puppy safe place- where she can’t tear apart anything), turned on the light, and shut the door. This helped her calm down and associate the bad behavior with the consequence of no longer being with us and playing. She would bark and whine for a while, but then after a good 1-5 minutes of silence we would let her out. The secret to this, and Doggy Dan goes over it, is to let your dog out of the room and not to acknowledge them. This shows them you are the alpha. We noticed that Remi understood that she did something wrong and she even would go up to both of us with her head down almost as a way to “apologize” after. With this method, she learned not to chew on our rug. Also, it’s a time for her to calm down when she’s all riled up and excited. After using time outs for 4 months consistently, Remi will even walk in there herself after we tell her she needs a time out!
With Doggy Dan I also learned to show Remi that we were in control of her food, which is a sign of being the alpha. Which means no longer letting them graze throughout the day, so when you feed them they should eat all their food right then and there. He teaches this by saying you should eat something (a biscuit, cracker, etc) over their bowl before you set it down. This mimics what dogs do in their pack in the wild. The alpha dog eats first and then the others eat their scraps, essentially when I’d eat a piece of cookie or a tiny piece of bread over her bowl I was telling Remi – I’m the alpha: I eat first, then you have my scraps. It was so crazy her response to it when I first did it, even Doggy Dan outlined that your dog might not be a fan of it at first, after I ate over her bowl, set it down and told her it was okay to eat she barked at me. Why did she react like that? Well because she didn’t like that I was controlling her food, that I was telling her I am the alpha. Nowadays, I quickly pretend to eat something over her bowl (which you’ll notice in the video- don’t worry I’m not eating her food…), set it down and then tell her she can eat. I’m a strong believer that this method really worked!
Pros
· Felt like his method picked up where the other program left off
· Was easy to understand
· Lots of resources on the website
· Seemed genuine and really interested in helping
Cons
· Click bait- seemed like to learn the secret in one video you had to click the next
· Always trying to sell his program or a product
What I learned
· Tough love
· Be calm
What Remi learned
· How to calm down
· Who’s in control
SELF TRAINING
Of course, there is no “one size fits all” method in training your pup, at least there wasn’t for us. We sampled these programs and picked and chose what worked and then we also trained Remi with our own methods.
Sleeping
We were told not to let her sleep-in bed with us, but after a two-day stint where she was sick and didn’t sleep, we brought her into our bed. And although we weren’t “supposed to”, I think having her sleep-in bed with us has really helped her feel closer to us and developed a relationship of trust. I could see a shift her behavior, she seemed more willing to listen to us and as if she felt a part of “the pack”, if you will. Plus, she LOVES to cuddle, (it’s the cutest thing ever), and loves to be as close to as a possible – even during the day while we’re working. She has to be in the same room, and if possible, laying on our feet. So, for her to sleep in bed with us probably helped her feel safe.
Crate Training
I learned to be consistent. Even though it broke my heart to hear her whine while she’s in there, I knew there’s a learning curve for her and for me. That eventually she’d enjoy being in her crate. NEVER USE THE CRATE AS A FORM OF PUNISHMENT. The crate should be their space- a safe and enjoyable place for your pup. If you use it as a place to lock them up to not get into something, they will learn to fear the crate. We only lock the crate when we are leaving the house, of course she doesn’t like it because it means she’s away from us, but after 4 months of training- she doesn’t fight me on it anymore. Sometimes Remi will go into her crate on her own to sleep or to find some alone time. The crate should have positive associations – we have toys in there for her, reward her when she goes in, and have a comfy fluffy bed for her to sleep on.
Various tricks
For fun, we’ve taught Remi a few tricks through conditional training. We’ve taught her to bark on command, give a paw, high five, and lay down.
Be Patient, Be Consistent
The absolute most important thing I learned was that I needed to be patient and consistent. Training was NOT an easy or quick process. Your dog is essentially learning a new language, it’s going to take some time. I also learned how important it is to follow through on commands. When we tell her to do something, she needs to do it. This keeps up the principle that we are the boss and to help her retain that understanding of the command we’re trying to get her to do.
What We’re Still Learning
Of course, we are not done. While we’ve seen MAJOR improvements, she’s only 7-months-old and we are far from being professional trainers. We are still trying to teach her not to jump up on people, to come when she is called every time, and to get over her separation anxiety. These will all take time but we are remembering to stay patient and to keep at it.