It was dark outside.
I lay in bed; I woke up before my alarm went off again. I’m not sure why I keep doing that. Even though I’m upset to not be sleeping those few extra minutes, I’m glad to have some moments to be by myself. The world seems quiet and peaceful. It being Senior year, peaceful moments were hard to come by with all the college applications, school activities and my parents jumping down my throat about my career path choice. I turn my head to the right and look out the window. Even though it’s raining, the sky is perfectly crystal clear. There are so many stars. I always loved that you can see more stars from where our house is because we live right on the edge of the woods.
When I was little I always played in the woods and never wanted to leave. My mom had to drag me out of my makeshift castle when it was dinner time, which she always complained about because the materials, mud and leaves, would get on her designer clothes. “Dior and dirt don’t go together, Ava!” My mom would screech all the way home.
Once, I stole some blue tarp from the garage to fashion a type of roof for the castle. I also had gotten the idea into my head that I needed decorations in order to spruce it up a bit, I would sneak various trinkets and items from the house that my Mom deemed precious and irreplaceable and carefully delegated them a place inside my castle. I was so proud of it.
Time and time again, my mom would fire a cleaning lady determined that they had been stealing from us. Every time I was home, I would crave to be back in my castle. My dad would frequently call me, with a hint of disapproval, his ‘little woodland creature’. If I could have it my way, I’d never leave my wooden fortress. But I grew older and was repeatedly told by my mother that proper girls don’t play outdoors. So, I stopped.
As I lay in bed looking outside, I got the urge to play in my castle again. I’m sure it’s not there anymore anyway. It’s been so long since I even got close to the woods…
“GOOOD MORNING!” The Radio announcer screamed through the speakers on my bedside table. I shot out of bed. “Today is an icky rainy day with an incredible high of 45 degrees. Anybody else missing summer as much as I am?”
After nearly falling out of bed from being brought back to reality, I got up and began my morning routine. Wash my face. Brush my teeth. Straighten my hair. Get dressed. Grab my backpack and head downstairs. My dad is standing over the sink drinking his morning coffee while reading some papers from a manila folder. I grab a plate from the cabinet by the sink.
“Good morning, Ava”. He doesn’t look up from his paperwork.
“Hey.” I smile back at him. Still not looking at me.
My father is… well… my father is… there. He wholeheartedly believes the purpose of life is accumulating the most money you can and then buying the grandest things in order to make sure others cannot refute that you have money. Lots of it. This belief then creates a distance in relationships with his wife and me. We are essentially just things crossed off his to do list named, “Things Needed to Look Successful.” We smile, take the obligatory Christmas family photos and have the neighbors over for a barbecue in the Summers. Repeat. On paper we are the perfect cookie cutter family. The only thing taunting my father (and now faded on his list) is having a son.
“Honey, please don’t eat frozen waffles for breakfast again.”
I stopped reaching for the freezer door and looked to see my mom giving her famous disapproving look. I don’t think she was ever not disapproving of something.
My dad looked over to see what my mom was talking about, “Game today?”
I smoothed out my cheerleading uniform and gave a half-hearted smile, “Yup. Playing Robinson. It’s a big game. Scouts are coming from all over to watch Jax tonight…”
My dad was looking at his papers again. My mom noticing that my dad was no longer paying attention to me snapped her fingers, “Charles. Did you hear what Ava said?”
“Uh huh.”
No, he didn’t. My mom looked at me and rolled her eyes and I snickered. This made my dad look up, “you were talking about Jaxon.”
I grabbed my lunch and put it in my backpack.
My dad continued, “He’s going places. If only some scouts would come to a game. He would definitely get recruited by Alabama, and then easily get drafted into the NFL. Do you know how much money players make, Ava?” His eyes were getting wide with excitement and before I could answer- “You would be set for life. You picked a good one. Good job, hun” He had a big goofy smile on. He was serious, he was so proud of me.
“Oh, Charlie. She’s a senior in high school. She doesn’t need to worry about those things right now.”
“Those things? Linda, money is everything. It gets you everything. So yes, she should worry about those things right now.” He playfully grabs my mom’s arms and pulls her close into him. My mother blushes.
“It got you this beautiful home and these beautiful clothes...” Forgetting that I’m standing right there, faces inching closer…
“Oh, Charles.”
“And that’s my cue to go.” I pick up my backpack and start walking toward the front door.
I hear my dad yell after me, “Any tests today?”
I continue to walk away, “Yup. History.”
“Study?”
I sigh, “When don’t I?”
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